top of page
Chrystele Myriam
Welcome
Hello there! I am happy to welcome you to the new design of the website! It might feel like I am constantly changing designs (and I do) but it's because I am always in the search of a cleaner, simpler and better looking website and I feel like I am getting closer to what I imagined with this design!
As I want this website to showcase my work, I feel like a simpler look will only help the focus on my writings.
So, I hope that you guys enjoy the new look and content!
Latest Posts
Latest News
My new project "LAST DANCE" is a self published audiobook with 13 texts that you can buy on my website only for 1$. It will be registered on GoodReads so you can use to to further your progress on the GoodReadsChallenge!
You can also find the complete story "Far With You" for free on my website, wattpad, or instagram. I have many other projects in the making but these two are the most recent ones. I hope you enjoy them all and the other content I bring now and then!
Latest Texts
Untitled_01
One of those days you’ll be the one missing me. One of those days you will be the one who won’t have any answer to his call.
When people ask me what happened to us, I wonder how do I say that you took half of me, my love and all my patience with you, healed it and used it on someone else.
One day I will be the one to have the upper hand, one day I will be the one that you ask about and wonder how and why you screwed everything up with me.
You will wake up one day missing my arms around your waist, you will regret hearing me say goodbye.
I know my family saw us getting married but at this point I don’t care about what anyone says.
You can’t break my trust and ask for redemption at the end.
And so the day came where you saw your mistakes.
You’re finally missing me, calling me and falling straight on the answering machine. You can’t bare people asking you what was wrong with you for letting me go.
You realized that as you took half of myself, and gave it away, you lost your everything.
How do I say this…
We were something, we could have been beautiful, we could have gone to the end of the world.
We could have lived forever only on love and support.
But you screwed it up.
You screwed me.
You screwed us.
When people ask me what happened to us, I wonder how do I say that you took half of me, my love and all my patience with you, healed it and used it on someone else.
One day I will be the one to have the upper hand, one day I will be the one that you ask about and wonder how and why you screwed everything up with me.
You will wake up one day missing my arms around your waist, you will regret hearing me say goodbye.
I know my family saw us getting married but at this point I don’t care about what anyone says.
You can’t break my trust and ask for redemption at the end.
And so the day came where you saw your mistakes.
You’re finally missing me, calling me and falling straight on the answering machine. You can’t bare people asking you what was wrong with you for letting me go.
You realized that as you took half of myself, and gave it away, you lost your everything.
How do I say this…
We were something, we could have been beautiful, we could have gone to the end of the world.
We could have lived forever only on love and support.
But you screwed it up.
You screwed me.
You screwed us.
I should have listened
There are a lot of things that I should’ve listened to. My guts, my heart breaking, the words between the lines. But I should’ve also look at your actions that contradicted with your perfect words. I do believe that you meant it once but not with me nor to me. You meant it for another life, another time. I used to resent you, I used to miss you, but no more. All that is left is thank you. Thank you for reminding me to trust who I am, to listen to me. Thank you for showing me that the one who should love me, is me.
I have to accept how I am
Lately I have been struggling with my weight. The pill I was taking was no longer working for me and caused me cholesterol, I gained weight and started to feel it, it was touching my health. I always struggled with my weight. But after stopping the pill, I no longer had cholesterol and lost 4kg. I was happy and proud. But now that I lost weight I am back to the place where if I eat something for dinner that I shouldn’t have, I will feel guilty and I will have to try so hard to not starve myself. I know I eat healthy and to be honest I eat healthier than I used to and it’s great, and I’m also drinking more water. But what I have to remember is that I am human, I’m a woman that has a body that goes through a LOT of changes and hormones. I recently got diagnosed with endometriosis and even though the diagnosis felt like a sledgehammer on me, it made sense. Everything made sense. And gaining weight is a part of it. So, if you’re in the same place as me, please love who you are, love your body as its taking all of the blows for you. Please be kind to yourself, you’re doing so great, you’re amazing and you’re a warrior. I love you and I am proud of you.
Caution
I have to warn you, I’m someone who is scared to feel, scared to get closer, scared of intimacy. But I’m also someone who feels so deeply that sometimes it’s as if I’m suffocating, so hard to breathe that I wonder if I still have lungs. I feel so lonely that often times I cry myself to fall asleep, having my tears only as my companion. I crave to be intimate that when I tasted it, it’s almost impossible for me to stop. I don’t care about the clothes or the soft touches. I care about the masks falling, the secrets revealing, the souls meeting, the hearts falling. I’m talking about falling in love. And I fall so hard, I love enormously, immensely, and when I get hurt, I break horribly.
So if you intend to make me fall, please catch me.
So if you intend to make me fall, please catch me.
Bear with me please
I say that I don’t want the picket fence, the ring and the white dress. But is it still true when I know what kind of cake I’d want at my wedding? Is it still honest when all I want is someone who’s brave enough to face my parents and ask them the permission to propose? Does it still stands when I sometimes dream about house hunting with someone and maybe having a spare bedroom for children? Am I still lying to myself or the world? I’m so scared to be like everyone but I can’t help and know that I want love and morning cuddles. I want to have ‘til death do us part’ in my vows. I want to hold my father’s arm while walking down the aisle. To you out there that I’m meant to be with, please don’t fall too hard for someone else, don’t stop looking for me. And when we finally get together, bear with me.
Where I belong
The road I have taken to find where I belong is the longest and the scariest road so far. It’s paved with good intentions, with dreams and hopes. It’s full of surprises, some nightmares are hidden in the shadows, the doubts and fears. It’s not easy, it’s tiring and draining at times. But, I know it is up to me to see what is beautiful, what is worth remembering, experiencing. The road to find where I belong is quite like me, it’s not perfect, it goes up and down and sometimes it rains, sometimes the sun shines so bright that I can feel it on my skin. It has flaws, but it’s mine and one day when I will arrive I will look back, and smile.
The Sun
I just want to stay in the sun where I can feel my skin heating, the rays burning some spots of my skin. It just want to stay in the sun long enough to feel alive again, long enough so that it leaves a mark when I hide back in, leaving a trace of the moment I felt present in the moment. A reminder that I can still feel something even when I doubt it.
Untitled_02
This morning I woke up with a hey gorgeous, I'm barely awake and half conscious but I'm already smiling, then my brain remembers that you're no there and it aches a bit. We start our daily conversation, talking about anything and nothing at the same time, sending each other audios laughing and wheezing at a stupid joke. The nights is where I find myself listening back to them, closing my eyes, headphones plugged imagining that you're next to me. I'm used to sleeping alone, but my bed never felt so lonely before I met you and it's in those moments that I know, all I need is you.
When it's almost love
The smile that you bring on my face feels like the first cold breeze after a hot summer, the first rain after a long drought. It's not remembering what it feels like, a distant memory of something that used to be, finally seeing its true beauty once it comes back. The way you make me feel is as if I was taking my first breath after holding it in for too long. I searched for you, went out of my comfort zone for you and I found you, someone that could turn out to be my home, my shelter. You're already so much to me, and I can't wait to see where life takes us.
In summary: I love you
Because you were my waking up and all the things I thought were out of reach or for others and not me became my everyday. Because you show me after telling me, you understand me without me speaking. My soul already knows you, this I'm sure because ever since I met you, I finally know where I belong. This constant feeling I had of always missing something went away the moment you said "hey!"
It's just you
It's when I'm home alone with nothing to do that I feel my mind and heart colliding, wondering when will be the day we'll finally be reunited.
So, until then I search through the men's colognes to find yours. I look at your photos and read out messages.
I close my eyes and allow my dreams to take over because each time I dream, I find myself with you. I might break my heart piece by piece each time I wake up but it's like you sense it and make sure I'm okay and know that you're here, you're real.
Every time I think about you I wonder if we met in another life. It feels like my soul already knows its way to yours. It's as if my body already knows that your arms are my home. My whole being knows that your love is my armour.
So, until then, I'll go in search of your cologne and listen to your voice, allowing my soul to be with you first.
So, until then I search through the men's colognes to find yours. I look at your photos and read out messages.
I close my eyes and allow my dreams to take over because each time I dream, I find myself with you. I might break my heart piece by piece each time I wake up but it's like you sense it and make sure I'm okay and know that you're here, you're real.
Every time I think about you I wonder if we met in another life. It feels like my soul already knows its way to yours. It's as if my body already knows that your arms are my home. My whole being knows that your love is my armour.
So, until then, I'll go in search of your cologne and listen to your voice, allowing my soul to be with you first.