The moment Alvina sat on the chair and opened the first notebook, everything went blurry. The more she kept reading the more memories came back to her. After two days reading the notebooks with no resting, she stopped at the very last notebook. She read the engravement on the notebook, stroking it she felt a huge fear come through her. ‘The Damned.’
Alvina looked up and saw Thessalia in the doorway. Thessalia looked at the notebook Alvina had in hand and entered the room. She sat beside Alvina and gently took the notebook out of her hands. Thessalia looked at it and sighed.
“You might want a break before reading this one, Alvina.”
Alvina looked at the notebook and frowned. She didn’t know why the queen would say that, but she knew that there was something special about this notebook. She nodded, still looking at the notebook. Thessalia put the notebook down and stood up.
“Come, we’ll take a walk.”
Alvina also stood up and they walked out of the palace. Alvina looked around her and she no longer felt young, she felt all of her lives in her, except the last one and she felt the void it caused.
As they walked around, Alvina felt this sense of home, she truly belonged here. She couldn’t help but smile at the fae flying around.
“this world, it’s beautiful when you see it for the first time. It’s magic. You have the chance to discover it each time that you are reborn. I wish I could see this world for the first time, again. Sometimes, being the Queen of this realm for so long, has its toll.”
“Did you ever thought of passing on the crown?”
“I did, but even though I do not see this place like I used to in the beginning, I still love it so much. Every day the creatures that make this world what it is, remind me how worth it — it is to fight and if I have to, die for. It’s my duty as their Queen.”
“There is one thing I do not understand. Why am I here? What’s my purpose?”
Thessalia gestured to a bench and the two women walked over to it and sat on it.
“You will understand your purpose once you’ve read the last one.”
Alvina looked at Thessalia and narrowed her eyes.
The queen looked at her.
“Is there something I need to know before I read this notebook?”
“This past life of yours…It was the most demanding, punishing if not. It’s a life that you suffered a lot. Your ending was heavy for your people.”
“Well, I guess we should go back. I have to read it. I need to know.”
When Alvina got back into the palace, she left Thessalia on the bench and walked straight to the room where the notebook was. She opened the door and hesitated in the doorway. She took a deep breath to muster all of the courage she had left in her. She had to read this notebook. And the engraved words ‘The Damned’ being in her writing were frightening her. She rounded the table and sat on the chair. She took the notebook and felt her heartbeat faster. She opened it and started to read. At first, she could see the words until they were all gone and all was left was images, flashbacks and memories. All of those that Alvina had to live through once again, feeling everything all over again.
From the beginning, they teach you how to make one with your sword, how the only thing other than you, you can trust — is your sword. They show you how to fight with it like you breathe with your lungs. Your sword is your best friend, your soulmate, your everything; it has to be a part of your body. But they never teach you what happens when no matter what, in the end, even your best friend can betray you. They don’t guide you to block the mundane feelings. And this is what killed The Damned and made her it. She trusted another soul, someone that did not hesitate to take her sword and stab her with it. She stayed there, on her knees, her sword in her chest. She watched her blood on the blade, slowly falling on the ground. Who would have thought, the things you spent your whole life with, you felt the most alive with, would be the end of you? It would be the reason for your last breath or last drop of blood. But I guess they are right when they say:
Those who you love, hurt you the most.
Alvina closed the notebook, her tears were rolling down her face. She had trouble breathing, she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. When she reopened them Thessalia was in the doorway with a glass of water in her hand.
“I think you might need this. And I have some answers for your questions.”
Alvina could only nod. She took the glass Thessalia gave her as she sat down.
“I guess you are wondering who betrayed you.”
Alvina once again nodded.
“It was a fae. Not like the one you saw earlier, a superior fae. A very strong one at that.”
“You were powerful, the two of you. Somehow, you found a way to become one when you had to fight. Each of your powers merging. Sadly, when it was about taking the throne of the faeries, Lymian became greedy. He wanted it for himself while you wanted to free them and make them under my reign. So, he used your power merging to turn your own power against you.”
“Where is he?”
Alvina looked at Thessalia, shocked.
“Your death, we all felt it. All of the creatures came to find you lying in your own blood, in the snow.”
Thessalia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“You have to know that as much as beautiful those creatures are, they can be dangerous. They are warriors when it comes to it.”
“They killed him?”
“They defended your memory.”
Alvina looked at all of the notebooks on the table and wanted to cry. All of those lives she left behind the last life that seemed to be the one that left her all alone.
“I hope this life is the last one.”
“This is your purpose, Alvina. You have been searching for the way to make each time your last one.”
“Did I get close?”
“You did. You found it.”
“The only way for you to not come back to life, is if you are the one to take your own life.”